Happy Bottom

Terry always spoke about his grandmother with the kind of affection that made you feel like you knew her. A few people in the family believed Terry was her favorite. Others felt that was an ongoing argument with no referee. Terry, being honest as always, said the evidence was questionable. But he adored her anyway.

Her name was Gladys - though she insisted it was really pronounced “Glad Ass,” which, as she put it, meant “Happy Bottom.” And truly, who wouldn’t resent a name that sounded like the jolliest donkey in town? She joked about it often, and now when I look at gladiolus flowers, I finally get the resemblance. Tall, strong, colorful, and a little dramatic. Just like Grandma.

For a period of time, Terry lived in one of her small rental units. He kept an eye on her. She got the company, and he got a landlord who made rent feel more like a suggestion than a bill. She was famous for undercharging her tenants, and when anyone asked why, she had an answer ready: “People have the right to afford a roof so they can get through life. It’s hard enough as it is.”

Life had been hard for her growing up. It left her cautious with her emotions, saving them like fine china that rarely came out of the cupboard. She wasn’t one for big declarations, even with the grandchild who thought the world of her.

Every time Terry left after a visit he would call, “I love you!” and wait, just a second, hoping she might return the echo. Instead, she would answer in one of two dependable ways: “OK!” or “We love you, too.”

And while "we" is a perfectly fine substitute for “I,” it never quite hit the center of the target he was aiming for. Over time, Terry decided it was better not to say “I love you” to anyone, just to avoid that little sting of silence. Somehow, I slipped through that rule without knowing it until years later.

Sometimes we don’t say the words we mean. Sometimes we hear them in the spaces between the ones spoken.

I like to think that now, somewhere beyond this life, they are catching up. Maybe laughing. Maybe sitting together as the sun goes down. And maybe this time, she finally turns, smiles, and says it back:

“I love you, too.”